Friday Night Smackdown 21/9/12

We begin tonight’s show with a Hall of Famer returning, but unlike Monday night when it was Jim Ross to fill in for Jerry Lawler, tonight it is Edge.

Edge says that never gets old. There are a few reasons why he is here. First, Philly is the home of the Broad Street Bullies, and it was eighteen months ago that he was forced into retirement. He wondered what he would do because this was all he ever did and all he ever wanted to do. Edge says that he can start to watch WWE again as a fan, not a performer so he can sit down and enjoy it.

Edge says that he has seen a number of crazy things in his career, but he has never seen anything like this and we see footage from Monday night between Daniel Bryan and Kane and their individual declarations that they are the Tag Team Champions.

Edge has a confused look on his face and he says that he has been away for a while. He wants to know how the Devil’s Favorite Demon and Goat Boy became BFFs and tag team champions. Edge says that he knows what it takes to be a tag team champion . . .

Daniel Bryan’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring.

Daniel says that he wanted to correct Edge on his use of pronouns. ‘THEY’ did not become the Tag Team Champions . . . ‘I’ am the Tag Team Champions.

Daniel repeats himself until Edge tells Daniel to try decaf. Edge tells Daniel that he is oblivious to everything and then he wants to know how Daniel pulled it off.

Daniel says that he is in control of himself. He is an anchor. He is a rock. He is one with his emotions.

Edge asks Daniel if he is kidding him. Daniel tells Edge ‘no’. He says that he could see how someone like Edge would be suspicious.

Edge says ‘excuse me’ and Daniel says that is an interesting choice of words. Daniel tells Edge that Dr. Shelby has been teaching them that our subconscious thoughts often emerge in the heat of battle. Daniel says that the words ‘excuse me’ make him think of Edge’s ex-wife. He asks Edge if he thinks of his ex-wife and the pain that they caused each other.

Daniel says that Edge’s theme music explains it all. ‘You think you know me’, but does anyone really know Edge deep down . . . in the heart? Daniel tells Edge to go back to acting and to go back to retirement. Daniel says that he is a redwood and there is nothing that him or any of the people can do to make him snap.

The fans figure that this is a good time to try to make Bryan snap as Edge tells Bryan that the Grasshopper played it well. Edge says that it sounds like a challenge. Daniel says no while Edge says yes. They go back and forth and Edge says that the fans are right because this is fun.

Daniel’s BFF and the other member of Team Huggy Bear, Kane makes his way to the ring.

Kane tells Edge and Bryan that they are both wrong because ‘I am the Tag Team Champions’.

Daniel and Kane go back and forth until Edge stops him and they tell Edge that he seems angry. Kane tells Edge that Dr. Shelby has a lot of relaxation exercises.

Edge is rendered speechless. Edge talks about how they have stolen each other’s girlfriends and beaten each other up. He understands why Bryan is comfortable with his inner-self, but he tells Edge that he is not Barney the Big Red Dinosaur . . . Kane is the Big Red Machine.

Edge reminds Kane about some of the things they have done. Edge reminds Kane that he stole his wife and then when Edge was going to marry Kane’s ex-wife, he interrupted the wedding and tombstoned the priest. Edge reminds Kane that he tortured Kane’s father and each other.

Kane says that he remembers all of that and he thinks that he needs to rectify that situation right now.

Edge removes his jacket and he is looking for Kane to take the first shot. Instead, Kane opens his arms for a Hug of Epic Proportions. Edge doesn’t know what to do but he moves closer to Kane and then they embrace.

Bryan says ‘no’ repeatedly and the crowd responds with ‘yes’.

Edge tells Daniel to join the hug and he approaches Edge and Kane only to be stopped by the music of Damien Sandow.

Damien begs everyone’s indulgence and he introduces himself. He says that he is here to help all of us. For the past fortnight, this very serial has been plagued by the sophomoric and tasteless operetta of these two miscreants. The shame and humiliation emanating from betwixt these ropes as these two combatants ‘hug it out’ is a complete abomination.

Damien condems the halfwits for lapping this up like a parched street canine laps at a feces infested puddle. This shows has vast and far this enterprise has fallen.

Edge interrupts the intellectual savior and martyr and he says that he could watch Bryan and Kane argue and hug it out for two hours, but after thirty seconds of listening to Sandow, Edge says that he had to swallow his own barf. If Sandow wants to do something about it, why not come to the ring and face one of these men.

Damien says that he is a thinking man and he does not resort to measures of physical means.

Edge wants to know if the crowd wants him to come and fight one of the men.

Damien says that their opinion does not matter.

Edge gets a yes/no chant going while Damien tries to stop him.

We go to commercial.


Match Number One: Kane versus Damien Sandow


Sandow with a side head lock but Kane with a shoulder tackle that forces Sandow to the floor. Kane chases Sandow around the ring and then Sandow tries for an elbow drop but Kane rolls back to the floor. Kane punches Sandow on the floor and they return to the ring. Kane with punches in the corner followed by an Irish whip.

Sandow with an elbow in the corner but Kane with a big boot. Sandow with a kick to Kane but Kane is not happy about it. Sandow leaves the ring and he stops in front of Bryan, who proclaims himself, ‘I am the Tag Team Champions’. Kane grabs Sandow by the hair and returns Sandow to the ring. Sandow rolls to the opposite side of the ring and he drops Kane across the top rope.

Sandow with kicks and punches Kane in the corner. Sandow with a side head lock but Kane with a belly-to-back suplex. Kane with a running clothesline into the corner followed by an Irish whip and another running clothesline. Kane with a side slam for a near fall. Kane goes up top for the clothesline and he hits it. Kane signals for the choke slam but Bryan holds up the tag title belts and proclaims that ‘I am the Tag Team Champions’.

Kane loses his focus on the match as Bryan gets on the apron. Sandow hits Kane from behind and hits the straightjacket neck breaker for the three count.


Winner: Damien Sandow


After the match, Bryan proclaims ‘I am the Tag Team Champions’ as he holds both belts. Kane shows some anger in the ring.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Kane is in the back looking for Daniel Bryan and he sees Dr. Shelby. The doctor wants Kane to calm down, but Kane won’t calm down because Bryan cost him his match and took his tag title belts. Kane says that he will rip the beard off of Bryan’s goat face if he does not his belt back.

Daniel emerges from a case behind Dr. Shelby and he says that he does not have a goat face. Kane says that he does. They go back and forth until Bryan calls Kane a Big Red Freak.

Dr. Shelby loses it and he yells at both men. He says that they have both made progress so he wants to do a trust exercise. He asks Kane if he will refrain from ripping off Daniel’s beard if he gives him his title belt. Daniel asks if he does not want his beard ripped off. Bryan gives Kane back one of the belts.

Kane says that there is still the issue of Daniel causing him to lose.

The doctor asks Kane if it would be okay if Daniel has a match tonight. Kane says that would make things better.

Kane says ‘I am the Tag Team Champions’ but the doctor cuts of Bryan before he can respond.

It is time to review the decision at Night of Champions to reinstate the Brogue Kick.

Alberto Del Rio is in Booker T’s office looking at Booker’s book. Booker wants to know what Alberto is doing in his office. Alberto says that he was waiting for Booker so he does not act like a coward like he was on Sunday. Alberto wants to know what Booker was thinking when he reinstated the Brogue Kick.

Booker says that his investigation was finished and he determined that the Brogue Kick is dangerous but it is legal. Booker tells Alberto if he doesn’t want to get hurt, he should keep his nose out of Sheamus’ business.

Alberto complains about Booker reinstating the move right before the match and that was why he lost to Sheamus.

Booker says that he might have been wrong to reinstate it immediately before the match.

Alberto wants to know if that means he will get another title match.

Booker tells Alberto that he has to earn a shot to get another title match. He may get another shot when he has to team with Dolph Ziggler to face Sheamus and Randy Orton.

Alberto throws Booker’s book to the couch and he leaves.

WWE Divas Champion Eve Torres makes her way to the announce table to watch the next match.


Match Number Two: Natalya versus Layla El


Natalya tells Layla to focus on her instead of Eve. Natalya pushes Layla but Layla with a back heel kick and then she takes Natalya to the mat by her hair. Layla with a drop kick and then Layla looks at Eve but that allows Natalya to recover and she hits a discus clothesline and she kicks Layla.

Natalya with a near fall and then she sends Layla to the mat. Natalya with an abdominal stretch. Natalya tries for a power slam but Layla escapes and gets a near fall with a rollup. Natalya tries for a Sharpshooter but Layla kicks Natalya away. Layla hits the Lay Out for the three count.


Winner: Layla El


We go to commercial.


Match Number Three: Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) and Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) versus Sheamus and Randy Orton


Sheamus and Del Rio start things off and they lock up. Del Rio backs Sheamus into the corner and he kicks Sheamus and punches him until the referee warns Del Rio. Sheamus with a boot to the head followed by a neck breaker for a near fall. Orton tags in and Randy hits a standing drop kick and gets a near fall. Orton with a knee drop to the head and then he starts the Garvin Stomp.

Sheamus tags back in and he kicks Del Rio and punches him. Sheamus with an Irish whip but he misses a charge into the corner. Del Rio with an enzuigiri into the corner and then he chokes Sheamus. Del Rio with kicks to the leg. Sheamus with an Irish whip but Del Rio with an elbow and then he charges at Sheamus and hits the fireman’s carry slam. Vickie and Ricardo get on the apron and that distraction allows Ziggler to hit Sheamus from behind with a forearm.

Del Rio with a drop kick to the head and he gets a near fall. Del Rio tags in Ziggler and Dolph kicks Sheamus followed by a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler with a reverse chin lock. Ziggler takes Sheamus to the mat to stop Sheamus’ attempt to tag in Orton. Del Rio tags in and he kicks Sheamus in the back and gets a near fall.

Del Rio with a rear chin lock and he puts his knee in Sheamus’ back. Sheamus gets to his feet and he punches Del Rio. Del Rio with a kick but Sheamus returns fire with a power slam. Orton tags in and he connects with two clotheslines and Del Rio misses one. It is power slam time and then Orton tries to get Del Rio on the ropes for the IEDDT and Ricardo tries to interrupt Orton but Randy is able to hit the IEDDT.

Ziggler tries to interfere with Randy’s pre-RKO mat punching but Orton sees him coming and hits a power slam on Ziggler. Orton sends Ziggler to the apron for the IEDDT but Del Rio grabs the leg and Ziggler drops Orton across the ropes and Del Rio hits a lungblower and gets a near fall. Del Rio with a boot to the chest and Ziggler tags in. Ziggler punches Orton and chokes him in the roeps. Orton with kicks and an Irish whip. Orton runs into an elbow and Ziggler with a flying clothesline for a near fall. Ziggler with a reverse chin lock but Orton with a belly-to-back suplex.

Del Rio tags in and he stops Orton from making the tag. Del Rio with a back heel kick to Orton and then Orton with an Irish whip but he runs into an elbow. Del Rio gets onto the turnbuckles but Orton with a drop kick that sends Del Rio to the floor.

Ziggler and Sheamus tag in and Sheamus with a few double sledges followed by shoulders in the corner. Sheamus tries for the running knee lift but Ziggler avoids it and he applies a sleeper but he does not get it fully locked in and Sheamus with a snap mare to escape. Sheamus misses a Brogue Kick but Ziggler misses a Fameasser. Sheamus with the uranage back breaker for a near fall.

Del Rio sets for the cross arm breaker but Sheamus avoids it and he sends Del Rio towards Orton who hits an RKO. Ziggler tries to use the briefcase but Sheamus sees it coming and he connects with a Brogue Kick for the three count.


Winners: Sheamus and Randy Orton


We go to commercial.


Match Number Four: Daniel Bryan versus Cody Rhodes

Bryan with a kick and European uppercuts that send Cody to the mat. The crowd chanting yes is only making Daniel more aggressive. Cody with a hot shot on Bryan followed by kicks for a near fall. Cody with a gourdbuster and he kicks Bryan in the midsection. Cody punches Bryan and backs him into the corner.

Bryan with kicks in the corner but Cody with a kick of his own and then Bryan flips out of the corner on an Irish whip and Bryan follows with a flying clothesline. Bryan with a running drop kick into the corner and he applies the No Lock but Kane’s pyro goes off.

Kane makes his way onto the stage but Bryan is distracted and he cannot apply the No Lock. Bryan yells at Kane on the stage and Rhodes is able to hit Cross Rhodes and get the three count.


Winner: Cody Rhodes


Kane laughs at Bryan from the stage while Bryan yells ‘no’.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Daniel Bryan is looking for Kane. He finds Kane and Kane is still laughing. Bryan wants to know what that was. Kane says that he doesn’t know what Bryan is talking about. Bryan blames Kane’s pyro for causing him to lose.

Kane says that they should consider them even.

Bryan says that he is a better wrestler and Kane belongs in a dark basement.

Kane tells Bryan that he belongs in a petting zoo. Bryan tells Kane that he belongs in the basement of a petting zoo.

Bryan turns around and wants to know what the two people want. We see that it is Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes. Cody says that this spectacle proves that the two of them as tag team champions is a complete joke.

Damien says that this trivial experiment is about to come to a combustible conclusion.

Bryan asks Cody and Damien if they think they are a joke. Kane says that if they want to see something combust, why not face them tonight.

Bryan says that they are scared of him and then Kane says that they are scared of him. They fight over which one they were scared of.

It is time for a look at the issues involving John Cena and CM Punk.

Josh Mathews reminds everyone that John Cena underwent elbow surgery.


Match Number Five: Brodus Clay (with Funkettes) versus Heath Slater


Clay shimmies and Slater shows Clay how to play air guitar. Clay misses a clothesline but he blocks a punch and slams Slater. Clay with a punch to the midsection and then hits a running knee lift. Slater with a kick and punches. Clay catches Slater and then hits a T-Bone Sheeeplex.

From out of nowhere, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal attack Clay and the referee calls for the bell.


Winner: Brodus Clay (by disqualification)


After the match, Slater, Mahal, and McIntyre attack Clay. Drew and Jinder with a double suplex while Slater hits a sliding clothesline. Drew hits the Future Shock DDT and then Mahal applies a camel clutch.

We go to commercial.

We are back and remember that Jerry Lawler will be interviewed Monday night on Raw.


Match Number Six: Santino Marella versus Antonio Cesaro (with Aksana) in a Non Title Match


Santino tries for a drop toe hold but that doesn’t work. Cesaro with a kick and European uppercut followed by a deadlift side salto. Cesaro with a cravate and Santino with punches and a forearm. Santino with a split and hip toss followed by a diving head butt.

Santino goes for the cobra and Aksana gets on the apron and the cobra is more interested in Aksana’s flesh than Antonio’s. Antonio hits Santino from behind and then Antonio with a knee and he removes the cobra from Santino’s arm.

While the match continues, Aksana reaches for the cobra and Antonio hits the ropes and Aksana falls into the ring and the referee checks on Aksana. Antonio with Swiss Death but the referee was busy dealing with Aksana and the referee misses the count. Antonio yells at Aksana and then Santino gets the three count after a rollup.


Winner: Santino Marella


After the match, Aksana checks on her injured leg and Cesaro is fuming over the loss.

Cesaro gets on the mic and he tells Aksana that he is thinking of something in five languages. He tells Aksana that they are finished.

We go to commercial.

We are back for the main event and the other tag teams in the company are around ringside to act as de facto lumberjacks.


Match Number Seven: Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow versus Daniel Bryan and Kane


Cody and Kane start things off and Kane sends Cody into the turnbuckels and Kane with punches. Kane with a head butt followed by a forearm. Cody tags in Sandow and Kane doe not wait for Sandow to get into the ring and he hip tosses him in. Kane with punches and a short arm clothesline and gets a near fall. Kane with a snap mare and drop kick to Sandow.

Bryan tags himself in and they argue. Bryan with a drop toe hold on Rhodes followed by Kicks of No to the chest. Bryan with a drop kick to Rhodes and Bryan gets a near fall. Bryan refuses to make the tag and Cody sends Bryan into Kane. Cody hits Beautiful Disaster and gets a near fall.

Sandow sends Kane into the ringside barrier to further isolate Bryan. Sandow tags in and he connects with forearms and kicks to Bryan. Rhodes tags back in and he kicks Bryan in the ribs. Rhodes with punches to Bryan and then he applies a hammer lock but Bryan with elbows. Both men go for cross body presses and both men go down.

Sandow and Kane tag in and he punches Sandow. Sandow is sent into the turnbuckles and Kane with punches. Sandow with punches of his own. Kane with a kick to the midsection followed by a DDT. Kane sets for the choke slam but Sandow with elbows to escape. Kane is able to reapply the hold and hits a choke slam but Cody hits Kane in the back with a chair.


Winners: Daniel Bryan and Kane (by disqualification)


After the match, Rhodes tries to hit Kane again but Bryan takes the chair. Kane with an uppercut to Rhodes.

Bryan holds the chair and he wants to hit Rhodes with it but he sees Kane and he gives the chair to Kane. Kane appreciates the gift and he hits Rhodes in the ribs and back with the chair.

Bryan brings a chair into the ring and they smile before Bryan hits Sandow with the chair. Kane and Bryan alternate on Sandow.

Once they finish Kane throws down the chair and he goes after the teams on the floor. Kane throws the Usos into the ring and Bryan hits both of them with chair shots. Titus O’Neil is next followed by Darren Young. Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel do not miss out on the chair shots. Kane and Bryan lay waste to everyone else in the ring.

Kane takes the title belts and he gives one to Bryan. They hold their chairs and belts above their heads as we go to credits.